January 16, 2025
Your website is so slow
We probably all know a lot of ‘Yo mama’ jokes. Simple and silly, yet funny. It is time for some slow website jokes. Here are some examples.
Your website is so slow…
- … even sloths do not wait for it to finish loading.
- … it should have waiting music.
- … even ordering take-out has a lower TTFB.
- … gtmetrix.com crashes when you enter the URL.
- … it has a sub-zero score in Google Pagespeed.
- … Google ranks it last in its search engine.
- … it messes with the space-time continuum.
- … people start rebooting their modem.
- … by the time it loads, your browser is outdated.
- … it got overtaken by a snail on dail-up.
- … it is still loading the punchline of this joke.
- … it is faster to use the IPoAC protocol.
- … by the time it loaded, I had forgotten what I came to see.
- … I think it is mining crypto.
- … DNS servers refuse to look it up.
- … once it finishes loading your cookies have expired.
- … even the server got bored and went to sleep.
- … I can watch all episodes of Star Wars and it is still loading.
- … by the time it has loaded I have a wife, 2 kids and a mortgage.
Got a better one? Let me know!
() Joost van der Schee